Mother’s Day is almost here and I’m sure for many of you the tension is building and the feelings are churning. Some of you, I know, dread this day because it reinforces what you don’t have – a good relationship with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law – and for mothers in-law, maybe even a good relationship with your son. So here are some tips to help you shift this emotionally laden day and make it something that can feel like a win-win for all of you.
- Take an emotional step back. All moms need to take an emotional step back and realize this is a complicated holiday for everyone—for all kinds of reasons. Taking difficult situations personally will not endear you to anyone nor will it help you get what you want.
- Figure out what you want. Spend some time before Mother’s Day thinking about what the holiday really means to you and how you really want to be acknowledged and recognized for being a mother. Then consider whether this has to occur on Mother’s Day itself. Especially if you have adult children, celebrating on the day before or on the day after that Sunday may allow your time with them to be more focused on you.
- Talk to your spouse or adult child in advance. Talk to your adult children—or if you have children at home, talk to your spouse—about Mother’s Day before it comes. Explore the options for this day and decide well in advance both what specifically you want to do and how your family will handle celebrating all the different mothers in your lives. Once you’ve reached an agreement, tell the respective mothers involved how you would like to celebrate Mother’s Day with them. And remember, you may not be able to please everyone – that is not in your control.
- Do something for yourself. Yes, this is the day that all children are supposed to acknowledge and celebrate their mothers, but who says you can’t celebrate your own status as a mother? Especially if you won’t be with your own children on Mother’s Day. Give yourself permission to indulge yourself a bit, no matter what else happens or doesn’t happen on that day!
To all of you who are mothers – Happy Mother’s Day!