Daughter-In-Law Questionnaire

Instructions: Please check all statements that best fit with how you experience your mother-in-law. To get the most accurate assessment it is important to respond based on your mother-in-law's actions, not based on your emotions.

Do you hear that "parental" tone from your MIL that just makes you want to scream?
When it comes to your MIL, does she always make it about her, even when it's not?
Do you feel frustrated with your MIL when you really need something from her and she's "unavailable; yet, when you don't need her she's all over you trying to help?"
Does your MIL have an "air" about her that seems to reflect that she knows best - even though she may not say anything directly?
Do you feel like you have to "gear up" just to be around your MIL or to talk to her?
Do you find you really don't like who your MIL is?
Does your MIL show up at your house uninvited - with no warning - and just walks right in?
Do you feel drained after talking or spending any time with your MIL?
Does it seem like your MIL tries too hard or is just off with how she interacts with you?
Do you find yourself getting edgy or irritable just knowing you're going to be around your MIL?
Do you feel like your MIL punishes you in some way when you don't do what she wants?
Does it feel, at times, awkward when it is just you and your MIL?
Do you feel like screaming when your MIL acts like she knows your husband better than you do?
Does your MIL say/act any way she wants, with no concern about how she impacts you?
Have you given up having expectations of your MIL?
Do you find yourself feeling hurt, frustrated, or even angry with the way your MIL treats you?
Do you feel like your MIL gets her way with everyone, which just drives you crazy?
Do you really have no desire to develop a relationship with your MIL?
Do you and your husband fight more often the closer it gets to his mother visiting?
Do you make a point of taking no real initiative to interact with your MIL, letting your husband deal with her if possible?
Do you get ticked off when your husband defends his mother instead of seeing your point of view?
Do you find yourself dumbstruck by some of your MIL's behavior?
Do you find yourself saying, "Why is she trying so hard? It feels intrusive."
Is your husband just not "getting" why you are so upset with his mom?
Do you dread the phone ringing when you know it's your MIL? Or, do you check the caller ID before you answer, just in case it might be her?
Does your husband seem to become mute when you bring up your frustration toward his mother?
Do you watch your husband go from a man to a "little boy" right before your eyes when he's around his mother?
Does it seem like your MIL tries to be hurtful toward you?
Does your husband ignore his mother's behavior most of the time - and seems to not be impacted by her craziness like you are?
Do you feel it's important for your children to have a relationship with your MIL, even if you don't want one yourself?
Do you notice that your husband doesn't call his mother back when she leaves messages?
Do you view your MIL as OK, yet still don't want a close relationship with her?
Have you also noticed your husband doesn't make much effort to interact with his mother - his mother does all the initiating?

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